Let it first be said that it is unwise to book a weekend trip through Hotwire. They will fuck you over. My plane landed in Austin at 11:30PM Friday night (the return flight would depart at 6:05AM Sunday) and I would not sleep for the next thirty hours. I'm not kidding.
After some initial 'how do I get around Austin? Omigod I'm going to get lost in Austin'-style travel-size panic attacks, I found the SuperShuttle to my hotel, where I anticipated that the check-in process would be laborious and painful. It was in fact easy peesy, and thusly I proceeded to my room for a quick shower before heading out to the club, because I did not come to Austin to sleep in a hotel room.
I had done my homework on the best nightspots in Austin for young gay boys under the age of 21 and come up with a rather interesting dance club. There is a dance club not too far from University Town, but it bites the big one, especially compared to the club I found myself at Friday night.
The first thing I noticed (and loved) about Austin's Boyz Cellar was that the entire staff was shirtless, which served to simultaneously showoff their hotness and make them easy to find. (The staff at the local bar is too damn ugly to walk around shirtless.)
There was plenty of comfortable furniture and plenty of eye candy, especially on the dance floor, where, to my shock, people were actually dancing. There was also a 'stripper' in the liberal sense of the word. He was already down to those little shorts when I arrived, but he was still just as clothed when I left.
Not ten minutes after I arrived, I attracted the attention of an unfortunate looking older gentleman who probably belonged in the real bar next door. He qualified his judgment of my physical appearance by saying he's been with his lover for years and years, even going so far as to introduce me to said lover by saying that I was adorable and that he loved me. He spent most of the rest of the night following me around and giving me the same speech over and over. One thing about gay bars never changes: there are always dirty old men.
I met a really cool guy by the back bar. We both grew up in the Midwest, so we started with that and just talked about all the stuff you talk about when you meet someone in a bar.
At about 2:00, we decided to leave because Middle-Aged Stalker Man would seriously not leave me alone. We walked around downtown Austin, talking about constellations and architecture and other fun things. Then we drove down to a park on Town Lake and watched the flurry of activity from a safe distance. There's nothing like seeing a city so awake at 2:00 in the morning. Those are the moments that make me feel alive.
I spent the rest of the night at an after party, meeting new people who were really intrigued that I was in town for a writing conference. I made it back to my hotel at around 6:00, knowing better than to go to sleep if I hoped to make breakfast by 8. (I didn't really need to eat, as I'd partaken in the Texas tradition of Whataburger at around 3:30, but 8 was the first scheduled JournalCon activity, so I was going to be there, dammit.) I arrived at the Omni shaved, showered and wearing the Ghetto Mexican T-shirt at around 7:30.
It was 7:55 before anyone else showed up, and that anyone else was Weetabix. She had taken a nasty fall much earlier in the morning and was worried about her ankle. Jette got me registered and set up the swag table while we waited for everyone else to show up. I had a bagel and orange juice with Weetabix and Sherry. I met some cool people (like Timbrat) and before I knew it, it was time for the first panel. On my way up to the conference room, I met Pineapple Girl! Yay! It turns out she has a real name. How weird is that?
The first panel was called "Wake Up: A Mostly Painless Icebreaker." The title turned out to be a lie. The first thing we had to do was put all our names into a hat (there would be a lot of this throughout the day). Emily, the moderator, pulled five names out of the hat. Those five names were to comprise the first panel, and of course I was one of them. Yes, pick the boy who hasn�t slept to get up in front of a room full of people and talk out his ass about the wonders of online journaling. They opened up the floor for the audience to ask us basically anything. It actually went fairly well. I got a few laughs and I think at least some of my answers might have made sense. Sadly (this is a product of the sleep depravation), I can�t remember the names of the other people who were up there with me; if anyone has those, feel free to send 'em my way so I can give them their props.
The next panel, featuring the powerhouse team of Pineapple, AB Chao, and Omar, featured screwdrivers and bloody Marys. You know you're at a kickass conference when they're busting out the alcohol at 10:15 in the morning. It was an awesome panel, and not just because I love these three people. Pineapple is my baby mama, AB is adorable, and Omar rocks, so it was a thoroughly entertaining hour.
My all-nighter started to catch up with me during the freelance writing panel, but after that it was time for lunch at Schlotzsky's. Brian and Meg kept me company. We discussed the instant bonding effect that JournalCon has on people. We all have this shared experience on which to build new friendships. These people understand I'm a crazy person who writes about my life on the Internet, and they don't think it's weird at all because they do it too.
After lunch I went to "Writing for Your Readers," which featured Gwen and Allison as panelists. Allison was really cool as she talked about how touched she was that the community rallied around her and her husband after their tragic fire last May. (Her swag made me laugh out loud. It was HYD stickers with the slogan 'You can't burn down the Internet.' It�s so great that she has such a sense of humor about it.) I totally have a crush on Gwen because she's so hilarious, and after the panel I harassed her with my fan love. We talked about some older stories from her site, her upcoming book and her delightfully evil 7th Heaven recaps, which I became obsessed with this summer. It just so happened that her 7H tag team partner Cate was there too, so it was my own little slice of Saturday afternoon TWoP paradise. AND out of the kindness of her heart, Gwen gave me a complimentary, autographed copy of her chapbook, which totally rocks. Go get one right now, yo.
At the last panel, "How the Web Changed My Life," there was an interesting discussion about the pros and cons of online journaling, the ethics issues, ways to protect yourself and all that fun stuff. It was at this panel that I got my first introduction to Ladee Leroy, who is quite possibly the funniest girl in Austin. Seriously, this girl has success written all over her. Remember the name because she's on her way up.
This would be an appropriate time to discuss swag. Swag is basically self-promotional material: stickers, buttons, mix CDs, candy, cookies -- whatever. It pimps your site and makes people happy that they got free crap. And the JournalCon people know how to do the swag. Wow. I felt so guilty for not bringing anything, but there's always next year. (I had so much stuff that it almost didn't fit back in my bag, and then of course they had to search it for a pocket-knife shaped object, so all the swag was laid out on a metal table at Bergstrom International in the wee hours of Sunday morning. The guy was like, "You got all kinds of neat stuff." Word.)
Later in the evening, we were treated to special performances at a small theater downtown. Ladee Leroy performed some hilarious pieces from her one-woman show. Kim Holzer did a cool best-of from two shows she's done. And Omar shared a video of one of his comic characters that was just killer. It was a great way to wrap up the day's scheduled activities.
After that, I did dinner with Anna Rain, lisarock, Lucky, David, Abby Normal and a few other people (again, help with names is appreciated) at this neat restaurant on Sixth Street.
Then we tried to find the karaoke bar where the rest of the JournalCon crew was meeting up, but I of course got carded at the door. The backup plan was a trip to the gay bar, but the girls bailed before we got halfway there and the club was all but empty by the time we arrived (by virtue of it being 10:30ish on a Saturday). I saw the girls again at the Omni before heading back to the hotel.
After calling Rachel and rubbing it in that she wasn't along for the ride, I went back to the club, which was considerably more packed, but then a large scary old man started hitting on me, so I went back to the room and passed out in front of Showtime. I got up at 4 to get to the airport.
I slept in the terminal. I slept on the plane. I slept on my layover. I slept on the second plane. I slept on the drive home from the airport. All told, I slept for twelve hours on Sunday and I dreamed that I was still in Austin, the best city in Texas.
Someone got here by searching for: do sex hurts ? Reading: Gwen's chapbook, since I didn't get to in on the plane. Listening to: Swag CDs. Y'all kick ass. I have so much cool music to listen to now! Watching: The lost episodes of Boston Common. I finally found the five I needed to complete my collection. Yay me! Eating: Bananas. Mmm, fruity.
