Arrive Moline. R and R�s mom are at the airport. R complains that the plane (which landed twenty minutes late) should�ve been faster. Agree. Note that Ma is probably still driving around the parking lot at Hartsfield in Atlanta, searching in vain for the exit ramp.

Call L and Remma. Plan to meet at local Pizza Hut. Go to Pizza Hut with L and R to wait for Remma and friends.

Meet greasiest and laziest waitress in the history of food service. Greasy interprets our desire to wait from Remma and friends as an invitation to ignore us for an hour and a half. Yell thinly veiled suggestions to an oblivious Greasy, such as "Did you see the Friends finale? They didn�t have pizza. JUST LIKE US!"

Shudder in horror at discovering, simultaneously, that the breadsticks (the appetizer we ordered but didn�t receive until after the pizza) were on Greasy and that the TV is playing Nickelodeon.

Head over to have a cup of coffee on Jewel and wait for Remma to drop off her friends. Leave before Remma gets there.

Hit the major Davenport shopping centers: Target, Wal-Mart, etc.

You can see a million miles tonight
But you can't get very far

Hotel-shop.

Rent an obscene number of obscene videos.

Midnight run to Jewel for supplies. Successfully avoid molestation not once, but twice. Return to R�s basement and watch Springer.

Sunday, June 2, 2002

Go to church. Catch up with old friends...sort of. Take the scenic route to Olive Garden...by way of Port Byron. Enjoy a birthday lunch. Hotel-shop. Get an Italian soda at Theo�s. Settle on the Davenport Radisson.

Change the lyrics of the �Youse a Ho� song to make it a biographical tune about Mrs. Pinkhat.

Surprise Bills & Co. by calling ahead from the driveway. Get kicked out when Bills has to go to bed.

Go to L�s and watch The Pretender: Island of the Haunted and some sort of horror movie featuring a very young George Clooney.

Monday, June 3, 2002

Sleep all day. Go to school. Exit hastily to avoid unearned trespassing ticket.

Shoot pool at a local dive, whose name escapes me now. Get groceries.

Check into hotel. Admire view. Stock refrigerator.

Swim with R, L and Amy.

Stop by Hooters en route to youth group. Get stuck in rainstorm.

That's when I know that I have to get out cause I have been there before

Arrive really late for youth group. Try in vain to stab self with pencil (it worked better on other kids in kindergarten anyway).

Go to Village Inn.

Go back to hotel. Spend six straight hours online on Hotel TV.

Wander through the streets of Davenport with R at three a.m. to find the local Domino�s.

Return to hotel and Hotel TV. Refuse to succumb to sleep.

Tuesday, June 4, 2002

Turn seventeen quietly. Swim at 6:30. R discovers Tickle Me Maid-Ho�s predeliction for sleeping boys.

Swim at 9:00. Sit around. Work the phone list for possible attendees at evening�s Fest.

Go to lunch. Get lost looking for Theo�s and end up at Peabody�s. Wait half an hour for a sandwich. Return to hotel.

I dream I never know anyone at the party and I'm always the host

SNLfest5. L monkeys around with the VCR for the better part of two hours, and just when all hope is lost, the video begins. Watch and watch and watch. Swim. Order pizza. Play catch with R from five stories up.

Regroup for second half of video. Fall asleep before reaching end. L leaves. Vow to depart tomorrow by 6:30am. Set forty million automated wake-up calls. Sleep.

Wednesday, June 5, 2002

Wake up at 7:15. L is on her way up. R decides to wimp out and not go to Six Flags. Give the room a once-over, clean out all the food, and head for the door. Check out. Get deposit back. R leaves before we discover that L has locked her keys in her car.

A too-handy hotel maintenance man breaks into L�s car, saving the day. Leave for Six Flags Great America. Sleep in the car.

Arrive at SFGA. Save $7 on admission with coupon. Ride rides.

While �challenging� Vertical Velocity, note that D�j� vu is operational. Decide should get in line before someone dies and they close it for the day.

Experience the sheer terror of hanging at a 90-degree angle in a ride known for malfunctioning.

Make new friends: Juan Valdez, Connie Clinton and Pony. Become annoyed by neverending lines.

Conquer irrational fear of wooden roller coasters several times.

Conquer irrational fear of McDonald�s at dinner.

When the last king of Hollywood shatters his glass on the floor and orders another
Well, I wonder what he did that for

Begin the long drive home. Discuss anything and everything. Learn the true meaning of Kyle Chandler. Discover, in a single moment, the joy of a road trip.

Thursday, June 6, 2002

Well I woke in mid-afternoon cause that's when it all hurts the most

Take the day off. Watch the loads of South Park videos we rented. Watch horrible movies we rented for no reason. Watch not-so-horrible movies we were embarrassed to rent even though we like them.

Get perhaps the worst Domino�s ever.

Friday, June 7, 2002

Participate in the world�s least classy kidnapping. Participate in the world�s most annoying and slanted introduction game, a portion of which included L�s fondest childhood memory: playing with guns.

Exasperated, go back to L�s and watch Election. I always get a kick out of that movie.

Saturday, June 8, 2002

Sleep until noon. Visit the local library.

Hit the bookstores with L, R, and Jerry Springer. Get an Italian soda at Borders. Become fascinated with the listening station at Barnes & Noble.

Drive around The District and witness an arrest in progress. Get a can of Whoopass at Theo�s.

If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame

Drive until we can drive no more. Try to avoid cops and roadblocks. Discuss the meaning of things BNL and things REM. Feel.

Sunday, June 9, 2002

Sleep through church. Go to lunch at Old Country Buffet.

Walk around the mall. Lead a wild goose chase in search of Italian soda for an Italian soda virgin. End up with a cheap imitation.

Eat, or try to, during the Discovery Channel special on botched plastic surgery.

Sit around. Open account at Blockbuster for the sole purpose of renting Barenaked in America, which while not the pinnacle of filmmaking (I�m staring in your direction, Priestly) was worth seeing.

Monday, June 10, 2002

While away the day with R at the local waterslide. Acquire a killer sunburn.

And the price of a memory is the memory of the sorrow it brings

Go to youth group one last time. Run into Remma. Go to Village Inn with Remma. Enjoy the French dip and lemonade, followed by a slice of Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Pie. Enjoy Remma�s company.

Listen to music and watch mindless sitcom reruns in R�s basement. Pack. Go to bed early.

Tuesday, June 11, 2002

Leave quietly and without fanfare.

The italicized lyrics quoted throughout the entry are from the Counting Crows song "Mrs. Potter's Lullabye." All lyrics are the property and copyright of their respective owners. All lyrics are provided for educational purposes and personal use only.