"This isn't what I asked for. I specifically said Sister Act, not Sister Act 2."

"But you have Sister Act on your card."

"No, I don't. I have Sister Act 2! As in the sequel. Like, one...two. Two. One more than one."

"That's not what the computer says."

"I KNOW THAT! I KNOW that the computer says I have Sister Act. However, the computer is WRONG because I'm holding Sister Act 2 in my hands."

"But when I scan it, it comes up as Sister Act."

"Yes, I know that. Would you like me to explain the theory one more time? 'Cause I'll do it. You see, the Item ID numbers for Sister Act, which belongs to Hazel Green, and Sister Act 2, which belongs to Eleanor Murphy, were somehow switched in the computer system."

"But that doesn't make any sense."

"Things rarely do. This is a library. This is a trailer. This is Alabama. This is a library in a trailer in Alabama. Things aren't supposed to make sense. That would be too easy."

"Tell me again what you want me to do."

"Well, we've been through the phone mess once before, so let's circumvent Murphy and call Hazel Green to ask for Sister Act 2, which they don't have. The CD they have will actually be Sister Act, which is what I wanted in the first place. Thus, the circle will be complete and things will all be goo goo gooey once again."

"You're proposing that we trick them?"

"Yes."

"Use their own logic against them?"

"Why not? It seems to work pretty well with Bailey Cove."

"This is true."

"No kidding."

"What does that mean?"

"What does what mean?"

"'No kidding.' What is that? Seriously."

"Are you attacking me?"

"I don't know. Are you attacking me?"

"NO. I'M...NOT...ATTACKING...ANYONE!!! All I wanted was to enjoy the heavenly singing of Whoopi Goldberg and Kathy Najimy on the soundtrack from the blockbuster motion picture Sister Act. I just wanted to 'treat [myself] to the divine comedy that bursts with '60s Motown hits and delivers habit-forming fun every time....' Is that so wrong?"

"You're reading that off the box."

"Yes."

"The box for Sister Act."

"Yes."

"Why can't you just take that copy of Sister Act?"

"Because this is the VIDEO Sister Act, the movie. I want the CD Sister Act, the soundtrack."

"What's the difference? The songs are in the movie, aren't they?"

"Yes, but I can't play the movie in the CD player in my CAR!"

"Okay, bring this back around to the point for me."

"Alright, one last time. We circumvent Murphy and call Hazel Green...oh, forget it. Just give me the phone."