I�ve long accepted that Adam Sandler will never be funny again. I don�t know why this is, but after the abysmal Little Nicky and this summer�s remake suckfest Mr. Deeds, I�ve pretty much given up all hope. He had a pretty good run and left us some great movies (see Billy Madison, The Waterboy, Big Daddy), but it�s pretty much over now. And I�m okay with that.

But when I accepted the end of Adam Sandler�s career, I did not realize it would entail accepting that the side projects of all the other Saturday Night Live cast members would suck as well. I guess I should have known, given The Ladies Man, A Night at the Roxbury, that embarrassing Pat movie, Coneheads, and every other stupid feature-length sketch, but that was before.

That was before the days of Rachel Dratch and Amy Poehler, before the days of Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey behind the desk on Weekend Update, before the show got good again. In reality, Weekend Update has never been funnier. Jimmy Fallon is on Weekend Update and he is funny on Weekend Update. Therefore, the Jimmy Fallon CD is worth my hard-earned $11.88 at Wal-Mart.

Yeah, I know. That kind of logical thinking and proofs never worked in math class, either, but did that stop me? Did it? Of course not. I bought the CD. I took the CD home and I listened to it. Then I wanted my money back.

It�s not that it�s a bad CD, per se. It�s just not a good CD so much, either. It�s five tracks of comic songs (reminiscent of Adam Sandler, so not good) and nine tracks of Jimmy�s standup, which is not all that bad, as it turns out. But most of the standup routine is about college, and I guess it will be a little more funny next year, when I�m in college, but right now there doesn�t seem to be much of a punchline.

There is a recurring gag on two of the tracks about a promotional campaign for a new line of troll dolls. In the first part, Jimmy impersonates celebrities including John Travolta, Gilbert Gottfried and Robin Williams as they expound upon the horrors of the troll dolls. It�s funny, but it�s not as funny as what Jimmy does best: parodying popular songs.

In the second part, Jimmy fashions popular hits into troll jingles, including songs by Coldplay, Dave Matthews Band, Alanis, and R.E.M. (�Oh no, it costs too much/I don�t have enough�). If you know the songs, it will have you rolling on the floor. I thoroughly enjoyed it and walked around all weekend humming quietly and smiling to myself, which could probably get me kicked out of Six Flags if I did it to the right people.

(Speaking of Six Flags, I had tons of fun there yesterday. I went with Slimjim and BD from work and we declared it the best Labor Day ever. If you get one of those Lo-Q things, you get to jump the lines and just go pretty much at your leisure. It�s good times and definitely worth the extra $30. And while we�re talking about yesterday, what is up with Georgia police? They are evil. And they�re everywhere. I can�t imagine that Georgia speeding tickets are any fun to pay, but I hope the people that earned the attention of the Highway Patrol by cutting us off learned their lesson. And a shout out to the girls at the Birmingham Hooters, who know how to make some hot wings.)

Anyway, despite the fact that the songs were funny and the stand-up was semi-funny, I still want my $11 back. But I don�t think I�m going to get it, so I�ll settle for the upcoming season of SNL to be really good, which shouldn�t be too terribly hard now that Will Ferrell is finally gone, but which should be a little bit hard now that Ana Gasteyer is gone.

I would also like to add that Jimmy Fallon is still funny and entertaining in many things outside the scope of this CD.

And maybe I�ll learn from this experience. Maybe next time, I won�t be so quick to blow all my spending money for the next two weeks in twenty minutes at America�s most evil big corporation. But probably not.