I�m finding my place here. It�s taken a few weeks, but everything�s coming together. Well, not everything. Some things are coming apart, but I�m dealing with that. I think that by the age of eighteen I should have the maturity to accept that change will be a constant in my life until I take my last breath, and I�m doing my best to stay on top of everything.
Take the bank for example. More of a credit union, really. It�s right outside the Wal-Mart here, which is where I was headed the other night to pick up a few essentials (milk, videotapes, phone card minutes, whatever). I stopped at the ATM to withdraw a measly $20 from my savings account. We all know how the ATM works, right? You put the card in and it does that suction-y thing and then the screen asks for your PIN number. Been there, done that.
I put my card in the slot where the arrow under the words "Insert card here" pointed. Nothing happened. The screen didn�t light up. Nothing. I pulled it out and did a more thorough inspection of the machine. Convinced that I had the right hole, I decided I must not be pushing it in far enough. (Ew. You're sick. I can't believe you just thought that. Get your mind out of the gutter.) Yeah, the card went in this time. But there was no vacuum-y sound. And there was no on-screen PIN prompt. It just kind of clinked down inside the machine, almost like I�d stuck it in the deposit slot, which I hadn�t. So the fucker of an ATM machine just stole my card. Those bastards. But I was calm. I wrote down the phone number and vowed to call them first thing in the morning.
8:30AM, the next morning:
Receptionist: Fucking Bastards Credit Union, how may I help you?
Me: Um, I went to your ATM last night and it kind of ate my card.
Receptionist: It ate your card?
Me: Well, I put it in the slot and nothing happened. It, like, fell down inside the machine.
Receptionist: Was it a card from our bank?
Me: Um, no.
Receptionist: Then it�s been destroyed.
Me: What was that?
Receptionist: If it�s not a card from our bank, we destroy it. It�s been destroyed.
Me: Please, bitch, I know you did not DESTROY my ATM card.
Receptionist: [click]
Yeah, so maybe I didn�t call her a bitch (even though she was one). But maybe I did. You never know. I had to wait thirty minutes for MY bank to open so I could complain to them, but then I had a class, so it was another hour and a half before I was able to cancel my card and be assured that the bitch receptionist from Fucking Bastards Credit Union hadn�t gone nuts at Old Navy with what meager savings I have.
Oh, and MY credit union won�t issue me another card until I go to their office, which is two hours away from me, to fill out some paperwork or something. Road trip!!! Yeah, how excited am I?!? Not.
I�ve learned my lesson, though. The next time I need money, I�m going to go to the ATM right in front of my building. Sure, they charge me TWO FUCKING DOLLARS to get my own damn money out of my own damn account, but at least they don�t steal my shit and hang up on me. Whatever, FBCU.
Also, I hate algebra. I would like everyone to know that. I�ve never been much of a math person, but I especially despise algebra, calculus, and anything else dealing with numbers that don�t translate directly into money for me. I don�t know the cubed root of 123415981978, but that�s what I have a fancy graphing calculator for. And this is only the third assignment we�ve had this semester in this class. I so don�t want to fail out of college my first semester because I couldn�t hack it in some remedial math class. There must be another way. Or something. I don�t know.
All I know is that tomorrow is Friday and it�s a three-day weekend. Thank [insert deity here].
Someone got here by searching for: "pants with built in vagina". Hee! That's the best one ever! Reading: So apparently I should pay attention to the syllabi a little more, because all the assigned readings for the semester are listed by date. So yeah. Listening to: Naked Baby Photos. Watching: Threesome. What did Josh Charles even see in Stephen Baldwin? Ew. How's the job search? Don't be a bitch, okay? I'm working on it. So, Labor Day. Yeah, I'm going to a cabin in the mountains for the weekend (sweet!), so no new entries during the holiday. Never fear, because I'll be back next week with more tales of college woe.
